Paradise and beyond

There surely was more of Paradise to come.

However, it wasn't only Happy Hammocking! During my first week in Sweden, helping out in the retreat house kitchen, I found myself struggling even with the simplest household tasks. Not being able to make myself properly understood in Swedish, I ended up feeling slow, useless, stupid. Feelings of inferiority and loneliness attacked me unexpectedly strongly. Why on earth had I come this far to go through all this agony?

In the safety of an accepting community, and having a person to talk to about those akward feelings, the shadow didn't kill me but gradually began to weaken. I was able to live with this incompleteness. What a relief! The last few Sweden days were filled with deep, almost bubbling joy.

One key message from my past holiday month is definitely worth remembering: No Internet, Plenty of Silence was and is absolutely therapeutic! So much more peaceful... stronger presence... ability to receive what each moment, or person I encounter, has to give. The way to go!