We Swim In A Fog

I woke up to a foggy morning in Heponiemi. The nearby Lake Puujärvi was fully out of sight. Once in the water, visibility was still next to nothing. So still, and calm. Such a beautiful way to wake up!

Back home, I look at the picture again. It inevitably reminds me of the breathtakingly beautiful song We Walk In A Fog (sung by the A Cappella group Rajaton), originally written by the poet Eino Leino.
We walk in a fog that forever surrounds us
and hark to the sounds of the moonlit night.
We tread on the treacherous moss that confounds us
and darkness of dusk human heart does blind.

This fog didn't surround us forever though. It's been a bright day, and I feel absolutely refreshed after the (half-speaking, half-silent) weekend with my retreat friends.

Paradise and beyond

There surely was more of Paradise to come.

However, it wasn't only Happy Hammocking! During my first week in Sweden, helping out in the retreat house kitchen, I found myself struggling even with the simplest household tasks. Not being able to make myself properly understood in Swedish, I ended up feeling slow, useless, stupid. Feelings of inferiority and loneliness attacked me unexpectedly strongly. Why on earth had I come this far to go through all this agony?

In the safety of an accepting community, and having a person to talk to about those akward feelings, the shadow didn't kill me but gradually began to weaken. I was able to live with this incompleteness. What a relief! The last few Sweden days were filled with deep, almost bubbling joy.

One key message from my past holiday month is definitely worth remembering: No Internet, Plenty of Silence was and is absolutely therapeutic! So much more peaceful... stronger presence... ability to receive what each moment, or person I encounter, has to give. The way to go!